Filed under: Economy
TGIF: It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it
WARNING: The following TGIF feature is a little racy. And we don't mean that entirely in the automotive sense.
Control freaks, S&M lovers and plain ol' horndogs rejoice, the kinky folks at MINI have thought up enough double entendres to last you the rest of the winter. MINI's Canadian web site will, ah, *tie up* your day and *bind* you to your computer to illustrate how well MINIs endure winter driving conditions. Visitors have the ability to direct the leather-clad, whip-equipped product specialist to help you make MINI "assume the position" for a detailed description of how MINI dominates winter -- if you're into that sort of thing, of course.
A few of my favorites:
"Xenon headlights give you an almost... voyeuristic view of the road."
"Dynamic Stability Control keeps MINI stable in bad driving conditions. It prevents individual wheels from spinning out to keep the rubber on the road and ensure lots of surface friction. And who doesn't like *rubber* and *friction*?"
"A heated windshield helps avoid lots of scraping. Unless, of course, you enjoy lots of scraping."
Click as hard as you like, and don't forget the safe word.
Thanks to J. I. for the tip.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Tankstelle 8:41AM (1/20/2006)
I think George Bush might outlaw cars if MINI had that site up in America.
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D-Dog 9:21AM (1/20/2006)
Thank goodness these ads are limited to Canada as they are in very poor taste. Shame on you, Mini.
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Ryan Gripp 9:33AM (1/20/2006)
I loveee this ad, its a great laugh. Im wondering if the marketing team with Mini took a little to much horny goat weed, and viagra together? lol.
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DJ 9:44AM (1/20/2006)
"I think George Bush might outlaw cars if MINI had that site up in America."
I don't think so. Afterall, isn't this the outfit Condeleeza Rice was wearing during her last tour of Europe?
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Marcello Mastroianni 10:29AM (1/20/2006)
An attractive leather clad dominatrix is not going to make me buy a car I don't want.
I repeat: An attractive leather clad dominatrix is not going to make me buy a car I don't want.
One more time: An attractive leather clad dominatrix... oh screw it, she's effin' HOT, where's me checkbook?
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zorg 10:39AM (1/20/2006)
this is the best ad ever---i now know way too much about mini, due to clicking as hard as i could on every snowflake in site! i had to listen to some of the voice overs two or three times ... is it in poor taste, as Sister Mary D-Dog seems to think? i don't know, but i'm willing to give it a LOT of thought!
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lalaland 11:04AM (1/20/2006)
I would have thought this feature also would have been online in some European countries that have, let's say, a desire for more prurient content from Mini. But it appears to be just for the Canadian site. I guess when you're snowbound in Moose Jaw and it's 40 below, you need some relief. As for you D-Dog, get out of my bedroom, just like the rest of you secretly repressed right-wing wackos.
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Rich 11:08AM (1/20/2006)
Every time I watch this ad, over and over and over and over and over and over, I just get more and more disgusted. I hope by the end of the day I'm not so disgusted I can't walk.
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DJ 2:51PM (1/20/2006)
Personally, I think this would have been a better route for Jaguar's new "Gorgeous" marketing campaign. Afterall, you have a "gorgeous" brunette (who surprisingly looks a lot like the model in the Jag XK converitble ad) wearing a leather "catsuit" and whipping around a cat-o-nine tails. Says Jaguar all over it.....
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Mike 8:12PM (1/20/2006)
That is so cool.I would buy a Mini if I could get a girl like that.
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Mike 8:13PM (1/20/2006)
That is so cool.I would buy a Mini if I could get a girl like that.
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Larry 12:42PM (1/23/2006)
They misspelled 'brake' and 'brakeforce'! That's embarrassing.
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